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Your Ex After Divorce – How To Establish Boundaries. Communicating and dealing with your ex after divorce is a given when you have children together. The real divorce is the cutting of the emotional, mental and physical ties that still bind you to your ex- husband. This is the real work of divorce recovery: becoming a single woman possessed of confidence, self- esteem, and an enthusiasm for life and most important, a complete break from the emotional turmoil that led to your divorce in the first place. All too often, women experience the same conflicts with their ex that originally led to divorce: constant arguments, reactive behavior leading to emotional upsets, old patterns of reliance, the barrage of destructive barbs aimed at your self- esteem and deep hurts. To truly be divorced you must put forth great effort and inner work that will sever your ties to your ex and you must build a structure that will facilitate that work. Let me give you examples: You and your ex have children together; therefore you must be in contact with one another on a regular basis. Unfortunately, your discussions with him always end in an argument. Nothing happens easily. The deep resentments and hurts suffered in your marriage and actual divorce remain intact. You each know each other's hot buttons and continue to push those buttons resulting in upsets. It's the old marriage still running the game. You continually get sucked into this abyss. If this is the case for you, know that you have not divorced on an emotional level. You are an ex- wife versus a divorced woman. Somewhere inside of you there is still an attachment of some sort to either your marriage or your ex. You need to look inside to determine where you are still tied to him. Acceptance of your new place in life is mandatory. Acceptance comes from acknowledging that your marriage is over with no hope or wish for it to continue. Acceptance allows you to living in a way that reveals a freedom from the past. It means living in the present and the future. It takes work but before you can do this work, you must put in place new rules that will lay the groundwork for a completely new relationship with your former husband. These rules are there to protect you from any further hurts or upsets. Create an environment that supports you. You must build a new structure that empowers you versus disempowering you. Take the analogy of going on a diet to lose weight. You need to create an environment that will both motivate and move you towards your goal. To do so, you remove all of the temptations that lead to over- eating or eating the wrong foods. You clean out all the junk food form the cupboards and replace them with healthy and non- fattening foods. You create a support system with a friend who you can call when you feel yourself slipping into your old eating habits. You take on a partner in your exercise program. 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You must do the same thing when you are working at disentangling yourself from your ex after divorce. Create an environment that will help, not hinder your progress towards true independence. Remove all the temptations to stay connected to your ex. Here are some ideas to help you reclaim your space after divorce. Or so I thought. In reading the book, Leaving Him Behind by Sandra Kahn, she mentioned something that set off a light for me. My ex has spent a good deal of time around my new home, as his condo has taken much longer to complete as was predicted. In order for the children to see him more often I have been extremely accommodating and have allowed him to be in my home with the kids. He knows the code to my house lock and oftentimes enters on his own. He has the tendency to walk into the house, open the refrigerator door and grabs something to eat, which is exactly what he always did when we were married. Not such a big deal you might say. Kahn says otherwise. Although we have a very friendly relationship for the most part, he is not my husband anymore. I have been far too accommodating to him. I should have created a scenario where it was incumbent upon him to get into his new place in order to have a place for him and the kids. This is my house and I should have laid down he ground rules that said he is to knock on the front door just like any other houseguest. Houseguests do not help themselves to the food in my refrigerator. This is him living by the old rules as if this were his home, which it is not. Establish Some Ground Rules. These ground rules are meant to protect you and prevent any kind of situations that could lead to an upset. Obviously the less you have to do with your ex after divorce the better. That is not to say that you cannot have a relationship with your ex, but it has to be radically different from the one you had while married. There are those women who cannot have their ex in their lives for any reason other than the children. Their emotional ties to their ex are still strong and they need to isolate themselves in order to break those ties. Set ground rules that determine the nature of this new relationship. These rules might include: 1) Communicate with your ex via writing and/or brief phone calls. Keep all communication limited to only what is necessary for the kids or legal matters. Speak to one another in respectful ways. Let your ex know this new ground rule: you will speak to one another in respectful ways and will not tolerate anything else or the conversation is over. Ensure that your home is just that: your home. It is not a place to hang out with the kids. It is not his home. When he is in your house make certain he realizes that he is a houseguest like any other. Keep your conversations highly impersonal and to the point. Protect your privacy. Do not discuss your fears, concerns or personal issues because that only maintains the emotional tie between the two of you. Don't talk about anything that opens the door to more connections or emotional entanglements. Keep it business- like. Do not involve the children in any communication between the two of you. Don't send messages through the kids. Keep them protected. Stay out of each other's lives. You don't need to know where he goes, what he does, what he is thinking or whom he is seeing. This might be the hardest tie to break. I remember in the early part of my separation, I continued to treat him as my husband when I called upon him for assistance with the kids. Handle it yourself by getting support from friends or family. You aren't married anymore and you will only be left disappointed. Consider your child support or your alimony as your money and not a gift from him or an obligation. Your money, no matter how it is acquired, is your money. The courts determined that support and it doesn't give him the right to comment upon or berate you about finances. If you are experiencing any problems with support checks, take it to your lawyer. Never beg or put yourself in an inferior position. Keep your true financial position to yourself. Be careful of maintaining relationships with his family. Blood is thicker than water. If you have developed a friendship with your sister- in- law, make certain it is because you two are friends, not family members. Always insist that the subject of your ex is forbidden. You are not a wife anymore and do not exhibit any behavior that mimics that role. All too often women continue to do things or relate in ways to their ex that were part of their former marriage. If he needs support or someone to talk to about personal matters, he needs to call a friend and not you. You are not there to assist him as you did when you were his wife. You are not his wife anymore and not his friend either, at least not right now. Perhaps in the future, when you have cut all of the psychological ties to your ex that held you back form creating a new life for yourself; you might be able to ease these rules. What's done is done and what is past is past. Let go of anything that does not serve you well. You will be much more successful in healing yourself and moving on if you have adopted rules and created an environment that keep you physically and mentally separate from your ex. The work of healing your emotional wounds and of learning acceptance and forgiveness for yourself and him demands all your attention. Don't squander your time and effort on your ex after divorce. It's all about you now, you as a single woman with an exciting and wonderful future in front of you. Article by Shelley Stile. Quote of the Day. 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Uluru is a large magnetic mound large not unlike Silbury Hill in England. It is located in Uluru- Kata Tjuta National Park, 3. Alice Springs at 2. ![]() It is the second- largest monolith in the world (after Mount Augustus, also in Australia), more than 3. It also extends 2. It was described by explorer Ernest Giles in 1. Uluru is also often referred to as a monolith, although this is a somewhat ambiguous term because of its multiple meanings, and thus a word generally avoided by geologists. The remarkable feature of Uluru is its homogeneity and lack of jointing and parting at bedding surfaces, leading to the lack of development of scree slopes and soil. These characteristics led to its survival, while the surrounding rocks were eroded. The strata at Uluru are nearly vertical, dipping to the south west at 8. The rock was originally sand, deposited as part of an extensive alluvial fan that extended out from the ancestors of the Musgrave, Mann and Petermann Ranges to the south and west, but separate from a nearby fan that deposited the sand, pebbles and cobbles that now make up Kata Tjuta. The ancestors of the ranges to the south were once much larger than the eroded remnants we see today. They were thrust up during a mountain building episode referred to as the Petermann Orogeny that took place in late Neoproterozoic to early Cambrian times (5. Ma), and thus the Mutitjulu Arkose is believed to have been deposited at about the same time. This lack of sorting and grain rounding is typical of arkosic sandstones and is indicative of relatively rapid erosion from the granites of the growing mountains to the south. The layers of sand were nearly horizontal when deposited, but were later tilted to their near vertical position during a later episode of mountain building, possibly the Alice Springs Orogeny of Palaeozoic age (4. Ma). Flood geologists argue that this indicates a comparatively fast deposit, on the order of only a few years or less. They state that if the arkose grains had been transported more slowly they would be more rounded and evenly sorted, and the feldspars would have turned to clay in the intervening years. Europeans arrived in the Australian Western Desert in the 1. Uluru and Kata Tjuta were first mapped by Europeans in 1. Press release distribution helps you create buzz, increase online visibility and drive website traffic. Find listings of daytime and primetime ABC TV shows, movies and specials. Get links to your favorite show pages. Articles on the weekly Torah portion, parsha, from beginner to advanced levels. Divrei Torah, inspiration, ethics and stories for all ages. Catholic Online News. The best resources for all catholic news. Australian Overland Telegraph Line. In separate expeditions, Ernest Giles and William Gosse were the first European explorers to this area. Further explorations followed with the aim of establishing the possibilities of the area for pastoralism. In the late 1. 80. South western/Petermann Reserve and interaction between Anangu and white people became more frequent and more violent. Due to the effects of grazing and drought, bush food stores became depleted. Competition for these resources created conflict between the two groups, resulting in more frequent police patrols. Later, during the depression in the 1. Anangu became involved in dingo scalping with 'doggers' who introduced Anangu to European foods and ways. In 1. 92. 0, part of Uluru - Kata Tjuta National Park was declared an Aboriginal Reserve (commonly known as the South- Western or Petermann Reserve) by the Australian government under the Aboriginals Ordinance. Beginning in the 1. European settlement of the area for reasons of the Aboriginal welfare policy and to help promote tourism of Uluru. This increased tourism prompted the formation of the first vehicular tracks in 1. The first ranger was Bill Harney, a well- recognised central Australian figure. By 1. 95. 9, the first motel leases had been granted and Eddie Connellan had constructed an airstrip close to the northern side of Uluru. The Aboriginal community of Mutitjulu, population of approximately 3. Uluru. From Uluru it is 1. Yulara, population 3,0. The Australian government handed ownership of the land back to the Aboriginals some years ago. To truly experience the power of Ayers Rock, your journey should be more than a few hours. The first Aboriginal settlers arrived there more than 1. Mount Urulu Turned Violet. Uluru went from red to violet on June 1, 2. It extends down over 3 and a half miles beneath the surface. Some report that there is a light source emanating at various times of the year. The term Tjukurpa is also used to refer to the record of all activities of a particular ancestral being from the very beginning of his or her travels to their end. Anangu know that the area around. Ayers Rock (Mount Uluru) is inhabited by dozens of ancestral 'beings' whose activities are recorded at many other sites. At each site, the events that took place can be recounted, whether those events were of significance or whether the ancestral being just rested at a certain place before going on. For the Australian Aboriginal people, that physical feature, whatever its form or appearance, animate or inanimate, is the Tjukurpa. It may be a rock, a sand hill, a grove of trees, a cave. For all of these, the creative essence remains forever within the physical form or appearance. The Anangu explanations of these sites and of the formation of Mount Uluru itself derive from the Tjukurpa. Most of these explanations are in the realm of secret information and are not disclosed to Piranypa, the non- Aborigines. The world existed, but was featureless. Giant semi- human beings, resembling plants or animals, rose up from the plains where they had been slumbering for countless ages. As they wandered around, they carried out the tasks that the present Aborigines do today including camping, making fires, digging for water, fighting each other, and performing ceremonies. When the heroes became tired of doing these things, Dreamtime came to an end. The creators made everything with which the aborigines are in daily contact and from which they gain their living. The heroes also established laws that govern all aspects, both secular and sacred, of the tribes. Because of their beliefs in 'the. All men and women belong to small groups, called clans. Each clan posses a distinct body of spiritual properties, or sacred sites. Clans are linked by common religious traditions, intermarriage. It unites them with nature's activities and species in a bond of mutual life- giving, and imparts confidence amidst the vicissitudes of life'. The totem provides a tangible expression of a man's relationship to his deities. Everything in the Aboriginal world contains an essence or spirit that had its beginnings in the Dreamtime. Each person descended from one of these spirits and possessed some of its life force. The spirit it descended from is the person's totem. Images of totems make- up a large part of Aboriginal art. They were painted on cave walls, which we title rock art, drawn on the interiors of their huts, drawn on their bodies, and carved in wood. Totemic spirits are celebrated in ceremonies and rituals, and played a prominent part in Aboriginal myth. None of the places we know existed until creator beings, in the forms of people, plants and animals, traveled widely across the land. Then, in a process of creation and destruction, they formed the landscape as we know it today. Anangu land is still inhabited by the spirits of dozens of these ancestral creator beings which are referred to as Tjukuritja or Waparitja. One such account, taken from Robert Layton's (1. ULURU: An Aboriginal history of Ayers Rock, reads as follows. When they had finished their game they travelled south to Wiputa . Fighting together, the two boys made their way to the table topped Mount Conner, on top of which their bodies are preserved as boulders. The first tells of serpent beings who waged many wars around Uluru, scarring the rock. The second tells of two tribes of ancestral spirits who were invited to a feast, but were distracted by the beautiful Sleepy Lizard Women and did not show up. In response, the angry hosts sang evil into a mud sculpture that came to life as the dingo. There followed a great battle, which ended in the deaths of the leaders of both tribes. The earth itself rose up in grief at the bloodshed, becoming Uluru. Tjukurpa such as Kalaya (Emu), Liru (poisonous snake), Lungkata (blue tongue lizard), Luunpa (kingfisher) and Tjintir- tjintirpa (willie wagtail) travel through Uluru- Kata Tjuta National Park. Other Tjukurpa affect only one specific area. There have been many instances where people who removed such rocks attempted to mail them back to various agencies in an attempt to remove the perceived curse. Flooding rains bring rare waterfalls to Australia's Uluru AFP - January 1. Heavy rains which flooded parts of Australia's vast desert centre have brought rare waterfalls spilling from the iconic monolith Uluru, or Ayers Rocks, officials said Saturday. The deluge, which swept across much of the continent's east after a tropical cyclone last month, prompted a wave of green in the Uluru- Kata Tjuta National Park, home to the giant red rock. Uluru typically receives little more than 1. January is its hottest, driest month, with temperatures topping to 4. Celsius (1. 13 F). In this example recorded in March of 2. Milky Way Galaxy rises over planet Earth's horizon and the large sandstone formation called Uluru, also known as Ayers Rock. After setting up two cameras to automatically image this celestial scene in a series of exposures, one through a wide- angle and the other through a telephoto lens, photographer Joseph Brimacombe briefly turned his back to set up other equipment. To his surprise, the ground around him suddenly lit up with the brilliant flash of a fireball meteor. To his delight, both cameras captured the bright meteor streak. Highlighted in the telephoto view (inset), the fireball trail shines through cloud banks, just left of Ayers Rock. ![]() Pen. Pals Find Adult Pen Pals Online Make Pen Pal Friends International. Looking for international penpals? 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The Texarkana Gazette is the premier source for local news and sports in Texarkana and the surrounding Arklatex areas. Max Dalton’s art isn’t flashy. It’s simple and clean, which allows for the complex subjects he chooses or unique mediums he uses to really shine through. Home of the Kim Kardashian Sex Tape, Porn Parodies, and over 30,000 XXX Movies from The World Leader In Adult Entertainment. Scientists found that when one woman gets pregnant, her long- time pals (usually former high school classmates) will intentionally get pregnant within the next two years. Scientists found that when one woman gets pregnant, her long- time pals (usually former high school classmates) will .. Having sex boosts. Win win! Bodies in motion stay in motion. More sex leads to more sex. Having sex boosts your libido, which in turn, can lead to more sex. A strong. pelvic floor is key when it comes to avoiding incontinence, and lucky for us, sex is like a. Keeping things under control. Sex improves a woman’s bladder control. A strong pelvic floor is key when it comes to avoiding incontinence, and lucky for us, sex is like a workout for that body part. Image 2. 6 of 3. 2. Photo: Getty Images. Image 2. 7 of 3. 2Excuses, excuses. Good news: orgasms can help block pain by causing the body to release a hormone that helps raise your pain threshold. Bad news: the . Bad news: the . Image 2. 8 of 3. 2Hair down there. Keeping your bikini area neat and tidy could be doing more harm than good. Recent studies indicate that shaving could lead to the spread of sexually transmitted infections, since shaving can disrupt the skin membranes located in the pubic area and allow for bacteria to make its way in. Recent studies indicate that shaving could lead to the spread of sexually transmitted infections, since shaving can .. POOL, Getty. Image 2. Burn, baby, burn! Men burn 4. 2 calories a minute while women burn. Burn, baby, burn! That means she's more at risk for reinfection. Overall, American adults are having less sex than they did a quarter century ago, with married people showing the most dramatic decline of all. The paper, published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, showed a drop across gender, race, region, education level, and work status. One factor is the higher percentage now of unpartnered people, who tend to have less sex than partnered ones. But a major driver is a steady fall in the rate of sexual activity for people who are married or living with partners, which reduces what had been known as the . Back then, the average person had sex 6. When looking only at married people, the drop was even sharper - from around 7. People in that group have sex an average of 5. Story continues below .. In 1. 98. 6, 6. 6 percent of American adults were living with a partner; by 2. GSS data. People who are not in couples, including those who have been married in the past, tend to have sex half as frequently as people who are, the study said. The report did not list causes for the decline, but cited possible factors including increased access to entertainment and social media; a decline in happiness among people 3. It's probably some of both. But when comparing the same time period in the lives of each generation, the group having sex most often were those born in the 1. The decline in sexual activity was sharpest among people in their 5. South, and those who do not watch pornography. It was less pronounced among younger people, men, non- whites, people with children under 6, people in the West and those who had watched a pornographic movie in the past year. As more people put off parenthood until later, the combination of middle age and childrearing may create a . ![]() Muslim matrimonials, Single muslims looking for marriage, Zawaj canada. Canada Jamal. Amidu. Bo, 3. 1, Ghana Abdul. Russian Federation abderrazak. Morocco Khalilou, 2. Algeria oolve, 2. United States tizouzou. Algeria morsa. 14. France rafaerafae, 4. 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